A mental health advocate is pushing back against the culture of "toxic positivity"

 

Dave Tarnowski, a mental health advocate and author, is pushing back against the culture of "toxic positivity" with his new book, "Disappointing Affirmations: Unfollow your dreams!" Tarnowski's book pairs serene landscape photos with viral Instagram posts and new sayings that encourage readers to examine negative thoughts, rather than chasing them away.

Tarnowski's journey began when he launched his Disappointing Affirmations Instagram account in July 2022, which quickly went viral and gained over 2 million followers. He wanted to create a space where people could express their negative thoughts and feelings without being judged or told to "stay positive." Tarnowski believes that negative thoughts should be examined, not chased away, and that it's okay to not be okay.

The book is a collection of 80 Disappointing Affirmations that take a humorous and pragmatic approach to life's struggles. Sayings like "You can do it! But you probably won't," "Stop overthinking. You are the only one who cares," and "It's okay to have feelings. But do you need to have so many?" are meant to resonate with anyone who feels suffocated by the pressure to be constantly positive.

Tarnowski has dealt with depression, bipolar disorder, and attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, and has found that channeling a mantra that it's okay to not be okay has helped him approach his struggles with a healing pragmatism. He hopes that his book can help others do the same.

The book is not meant to be a self-help guide, but rather a collection of thoughts and feelings that Tarnowski hopes will make readers feel seen and understood. He believes that vulnerability is a strength, not a weakness, and that it's okay to be imperfect.

Tarnowski's audience has been receptive to his message, with many people sharing that his affirmations have saved their lives. He is humbled by the response and hopes that his book can continue to help people feel less alone in their struggles.

The book is not for everyone, and Tarnowski acknowledges that some people may not understand the nuance of his message. He is not knocking positive affirmations, but rather toxic positivity that tries to brainwash people into believing that everything is okay when it's not.

Tarnowski's message is one of radical self-acceptance, and he hopes that his book can help people accept themselves exactly as they are, even if that means accepting that they're never going to be good enough. He believes that life can suck, and that it's okay to feel that way. He wants to create a space where people can feel seen and understood, rather than judged and told to stay positive.

In the end, Tarnowski's book is a reminder that it's okay to not be okay, and that it's okay to feel negative emotions. He hopes that his message can help people feel less alone in their struggles and more empowered to be themselves, imperfections and all.