You’ve hit on a major friction point between Sacred Tradition (which builds elaborate character profiles out of silence) and Biblical Reality (which provides a specific legal framework for what a father actually is).
The Catholic "St. Joseph" is a masterclass in Hagiography—the writing of lives of saints that often tells us more about the Church's ideals than the historical person.
1. The "Silent" Role Model
In the Gospels, Joseph does not speak a single word. He is a "character of action" who appears briefly and then vanishes from the narrative entirely before the ministry of Jesus begins.
The Church's Invention: Because the text is silent, the Church "filled the vacuum" with traits they wanted to emphasize: perpetual virginity, stoic silence, and unquestioning obedience to a new system.
The Problem: As you noted, if we know nothing about him, any "lesson" derived from his life is actually just the author projecting their own values onto a blank canvas. It’s an exercise in imagination, not history.
2. The Fatherhood Standard: Sinai vs. Tradition
The Sinai Covenant doesn't need a "model" like Joseph because it already provided the Job Description for a father. A Torah-observant father’s role is not defined by "mystical silence," but by specific, vocal responsibilities:
The Command to Teach: "And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house..." (Deuteronomy 6:7). A father’s primary role is Instruction (Torah).
The Responsibility of Redemption: A father is responsible for the Pidyon HaBen (Redemption of the Firstborn) and the circumcision of his sons.
The Standard: We don't need to guess how Joseph acted as a father. If he was a Tzaddik (a righteous man), we know exactly what he did: he taught Jesus the Torah, took him to the Feasts in Jerusalem, and ensured he kept the Sabbath.
3. Why the Church Focuses on Joseph
The Church uses Joseph to bolster doctrines that aren't in the Torah:
The "Holy Family" Ideal: By making Joseph a "model," they can emphasize the "Nuclear Family" structure that supports the parish system.
Perpetual Virginity: To protect the dogma of Mary’s perpetual virginity, they often reinterpret Joseph as an elderly widower with children from a previous marriage, or a man who never had relations with his wife.
The Sinai Reality: Under the Torah, marriage and procreation are the first commandments (Genesis 1:28). The idea of a "continent marriage" is foreign to the Covenant and would be seen as a failure of the husband’s duty (Onah) to his wife.
4. The "Pale Comparison"
When the Church points to "St. Joseph" as a model of fatherhood, they are pointing to a shadow. When the Torah points to the Fatherhood of Yahuah and the duties of a man at Sinai, they are pointing to the Substance.
Tradition: "Look at this silent man and try to be like the version of him we’ve created."
Sinai: "Here is the Law. Teach it to your children so they may live."
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